As excited as I am about this baby, last week I sort of had a panic attack. Well, several. I realized that in just a few months this little girl is going to have to come out of me and that absolutely terrifies me. I've been thinking about some of the worst pain I've had in my life (aka...kidney stone, the marathon, etc.) and I don't know if I can handle childbirth.
I've been reading books and stuff on what to expect and I'm going to take a childbirth class, but I am still petrified. Any suggestions on good ways to prepare and calm my anxiety about the whole thing?
Also, I started worrying about everything. What if she's not healthy? What if something goes wrong? How are we going to take care of her? What if she ends up being a he? (I made them check again at my appt. this week.) What if I can't handle being a mom? How am I going to learn everything?
I still am excited, but for the first half of pregnancy, these thoughts never entered my mind and now all of a sudden I'm going into panic mode!
10 comments:
Let me help you. :) If you decide you don't want her, I know someone with two little boys who would GLADLY take a little girl too. :) Just teasing. Being a mom is hard and scary, but it's also awesome and you will know how to do it just fine. Taking care of a baby is so natural. I think you will be suprised at how easily things come.
Actually giving birth really isn't that bad either. When I had a gallbladder attack this past spring, I was in much worse pain than I ever was during labor. In fact I kept wishing that I was in labor. With Parker, I felt absolutely nothing....easy as pie. Drew- the epidural wore off about 1/2 hour before he was born and it hadn't even taken on the right side of my body. I was scared to death, but I did it and it wasn't the worst pain I've experienced. Sure, I wouldn't want to do it everyday, but it really was not bad. I quite like giving birth and will really miss it. It's so amazing to me.
I bet your little girl will be healthy and perfect, but even if she's not she will still be yours and you will love her no matter what. I was always scared of my babies having something wrong with them two. And then when they both had problems, it was like my worst nightmare had come true. But, I wouldn't take them any other way. They are perfect in my eyes and I love them all the more for their imperfections and all that we and they have been through.
I hope that helps. You will do great. Call me if you ever get to stressed...I'll walk you through it! Teehee.
Apparently my grammer sucks. I meant too, not two.
Christy you should take comfort In that every women has felt for the most part exactly how you feel.
Ever women is different and no ones birth experience is the same... Some have it EASY & some have it HARD! But the best thing you can do is take some classes ( which will freak you out) ... And maybe what your reading is what's making you nervous. But if your prepared and take care of yourself it will be fine.
Having a baby is the most craziest, beautiful, spiritual, awesomest, tiring, painful ( kindney stone defanitively feels so much like childbirth), scariest, wonderful, amazing thing I've ever and you will probably experience!!!! It truly is a miracle! When you hold that beautiful baby girl in your arms it will be a moment you will never forget... It brings tears to my eyes just talking about it! The veil is so close and knowing they just came from heaven is such an awe inspiring, beautiful thing! Don't worry!
If it was really so bad this world would be pretty quiet snd no one would be having babies. We live in such a wonderful time with great doctors and medicine! Just be greatful we aren't in the days when pioneer women were giving birth on the plains or who knows where! We are very
blessed!
Good luck... You'll do fine! And I don't care who says what I had an epidural and it was great! I was able to enjoy it and not be in pain the whole time. But do take the class so in case something happens you will be able to know how to deal with the pain.
Just enjoy your time now and really soak in all the alone time you have with Matt and for you too! Your life will never be the same once she comes along but it's worth it! You'll love it....well most of the time! : )
p.s. If you haven't read the book baby wise you should it was a lifesaver for me!
I had a lot of these same fears and worries during my pregnancy. In fact, I had Shawn giving me blessings quite often because I was little Miss Panicky! I think the best thing I did was ask Shawn to give me a blessing as we left for the hospital to give birth. It calmed my fears and helped me relax. Yes I was still a little nervous, but I knew that Heavenly Father was watching out for us and that everything would be okay. The pain is rough, but it's not unbearable. I am a big fan of the epidural - I don't believe that you have to experience natural child birth in order to be a real woman. But you need to do whatever you feel right about. My epidural was heavenly - it worked, I didn't have any of the possible side effects, and it wasn't so strong that I couldn't tell when I needed to push, etc.... One funny thing - I always worried that Natalie would be a boy. She was such a huge baby at birth (10 lbs) that the nurse kept calling her a him. Well the umbilical cord was blocking that areas view from my position, and so I couldn't tell if the nurse was right or not. Nobody corrected her, and nobody make any declaration like "It's a girl!" So I finally asked if it was a girl to make sure! :) I did purposely do our nursery in neutral colors and not take tags off clothes just in case though! When all is said and done, I think the most important thing to remember is that Heavenly Father is there and will help you. No matter what happens with you or your baby, everything will be alright in the end.
I totally ditto all comments above. I think worrying about EVERYTHING is totally normal. You will figure it all out because, let's face it, you can't turn back now. Labor surely isn't the hardest thing that you will do and once you look at that adorable little face and the wrinkly body, and the kinda not round head, you'll have a hard time remembering how you ever survived living without her (or him??lol) in your life!
You'll be wonderful! You will fall in love with her the moment you see her, and that will help you through anything that comes your way! If women have more than one baby you have to know that somehow they find their way through it - it is difficult, but it is not the worst thing you will face in your life and a child birthing class will help you a lot - have confidence in yourself, you have done so much - you can do this - I am sure of it! It'll all be okay and sooooo worth it - you'll see!
As you can tell, pregnancy brings out a lot of opinions! That being said, here are my two cents:
First of all, you're a bright, intelligent woman who's more than capable of reading, researching and asking questions. Trust yourself! Things that worked for your friends or family may (or may not) work for you. It's important to decide what you want for you, your baby and Matt. Everyone is different and you have to make the best decisions for you.
For example, when I was pregnant with Everett, I read a lot of things, asked a lot of questions and decided to go with a midwife and try for an unmedicated delivery. It's something I wanted to do and thought would be best for me and my baby. Of course, things changed and I ended up having an emergency C-section, so of course I had heavy medication, but the point is, I knew what I wanted, tried to the best of my ability, and then adapted. That's the crux of motherhood, I think, adaptability. Things never go as planned!
Also, just so you have one voice offering a different opinion, don't worry if you're not immediately in love with your baby. Everyone told me, "As soon as you see your baby for the first time, you'll know what true love is" yadda, yadda, yadda. And while I don't doubt that's true for a vast majority of moms and dads, I can tell you with absolute certainty that it hasn't been the case with either Everett or Juliana and I don't anticipate it being different when I deliver in a couple of months. While I care for my newborns and attend to their needs, it takes me a couple of months before I'm really starting to feel the love. I guess I just need more time to bond before I really start to care for them as an individual of my own flesh rather than simply a baby who has needs. It may sound cold, but I just wanted to share my experience. I can't tell you how terrible of a person and mom I felt like when I wasn't immediately in love with Everett.
Good luck and you'll do fine! Sure, it's scary and hard, but it is definitely worth it!
I'm not even going to read all the comments, but just keep an open mind about everything when it comes to labor. People say you need to have a labor plan, and decide whether you want drugs or anything else. If I had kept to my "labor plan" I would have had a terrible experience with Abigail. I wanted to go with a natural birth, heck, my mom had done it with all four of her kids. However, I have a hard time relaxing, and my labor pains hurt pretty bad. Shortly after getting to the hospital I asked for an epidural, then ended up delivering by c-section. And I was completely fine with all of it (though I struggled for about 30 minutes with accepting having to have a c-section. Yes, labor can be hard, but it will end and you will have your baby girl in her arms. If she ends up not being 100% healthy, just remember that Heavenly Father gave her to you and Matt for a reason, and even though things can be hard you will grow, and you will love her no matter what. Even if she ends up with 11 fingers or something. You'll do fine. Trust Matt, trust you doctor, trust your instincts, trust Heavenly Father. It will all go well. You can only control so much, so put your trust in your doctor. They tend to know what they are talking about.
I was pretty nervous and I think that's normal...but with a blessing and the Lord's help it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. But then again, the epidural is a WONDERFUL thing! Hang in there you're oging to do amazing!
You're having a girl! Hooray. Yes, it's painful (but as soon as the baby is out the pain goes away--or the pain of a giant head coming out a very small hole goes away--other pains will come:)). Yes, it's hard. But having a baby is also the most wonderful thing in the world. You're going to think so, too. You don't have to learn everything. It's impossible. So I say stop reading all those books. Read when you want to answer a question.
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