This weekend we went with Caron and Raymon to the Organ Loft. It is a theater that plays old silent movies with organ accompaniment. The theater was built around the organ, so the organ pipes are inside the walls surrounding the audience. The organ is bright sparkly purple and gold. Here we are with the organist. It really was pretty neat. All the sound effects (telephone, sirens, trains, etc.) are controlled by this organ. And the organist sits in front of the screen and watches the movie and just plays along with whatever is going on. Now that is talent. It was just really cool. And it was fun to go out with Caron and Raymon.That was pretty much the highlight of the weekend. WARNING: VENTING AHEAD. On Sunday we had to speak in church. Normally I love speaking in church, but this one was just really bad. I was stumbling over my words right and left and nothing coherent was coming out of my mouth. It was awful! And to top it off, I told the Primary president that I needed help so she got someone to help me and the kids actually BEHAVED for the new teacher! What is wrong with me? Why can't I handle controlling the 5-year-olds when everyone else doesn't seem to have a problem with it?
I think I am having an identity crisis. I just want to be good at something. It seems everything I try lately I am just not good at. I used to be known as the adventurous one, or the party-thrower, or the traveler, or the good Relief Society teacher, or the good listener friend, or the triathlete motivator. But now I'm not those things anymore and I'm just struggling in everything. My students are so much smarter than me and really could probably do just fine without me, I am having a hard time keeping up in grad school, I am no good at teaching Primary, I can't seem to make friends in my new ward, I feel like I'm losing a lot of my old friends, and I don't have enough time to do anything....ugghhh!
OK, vent over. Back to your regularly scheduled blog. Here's a happy thought....only 45 days til Christmas!!!
7 comments:
I completely understand how you feel about making friends in your ward. We have been in our ward for just over three years, and I still don't feel like I have any good friends. Sure I know lots of people, but a meaningful friendship...yeah, not really at all. Nobody I feel like I can just drop in on. And don't sweat it with the new teacher thing. Just see if there's something this teacher is doing that you aren't. And look hard. It might not be obvious at first. When I was teaching in the Elementary schools, I thought I was doing okay, but I failed the same practicum three times. And I still haven't figured out why. Sometimes the biggest difference is really subtle. Just keep at it, and if it still isn't working, and you are getting really discouraged, and feel like it is affecting you too much, then ask to be released. There's no shame in that. But keep trying, or talk to the other teacher outside of class and see what you can learn to help control those little kids. Good luck! And remember, you are very loved and very successful at many things. You don't have to be amazing at everything.
Come What May, and Love It
Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles
I am not trying to be preachy but I read this on Sunday and it meant so much to me maybe it will for you. I am sure you have probably all ready read it. Hope it helps!
Good Luck!
It seems like once you're married.. friends other than your spouse are harder to come by. I understand what you're saying! Maybe you could try being good at.. being a mommy?? :-D jk.. but I must say.. you guys would have way cute kids!! Plus its pretty much the most rewarding job out there. haha.. k.. i'll get off your back now. Don't give up.. it's probably just a bad week.. things will get better hopefully!
Marriage is a big adjustment, and not just because of marriage itself, but the new life you get to embrace because of it. New ward, new friends, new life basically. I agree with the Come What May, and Love It. I was just listening to that talk this morning, and it's so true. I really struggled in our new ward for awhile. I felt like I was too busy to make friends, and that we didn't really fit in. We've been in the ward for more than a year now, and I'm finally starting to feel like we have a place in our ward. We still don't have lots of great friends yet, but we have lots of fun. Remember how you were feeling really frustrated with life about a year ago as well. You pushed through it, you found Matt, you got into grad school, you got out of your job. Things do change, and we do get to experience fun new adventures, but with each of those come their own set of challenges and struggles. You know we're always here for your Christy.
I agree-- once you get married all your old single friends just aren't the best friends that they used to be! It does suck.
And I am VERY sorry that you have to teach 5 year olds....that was the WORST calling I ever had. So i really understand what you mean.
I would just like to interject that not ALL your single friends have abandoned you :) But I understand how you feel, in my own singleness sort of way. I don't know what it's like to be married, but I know what it's like to have your life change suddenly, and it's hard. It took me a year to make friends when I moved to WJ. (friends are not aquaintences, btw) And you are good at all sorts of things, so buck up! why can you not be those things you just listed still? And now you have someone you love to jump into all these new experiences with.
I'm probably not helping. But I love you dearly and I want you to be happy! We should declare a new holiday: give a friend a pep talk day. My november is opening up! (and not just my sunday's)
AND you need to go back sometime and see a happier show. I heard January has a good one going on- Buster Keaton!! Woo Hoo!
Oh, you are amazing at so many things! I read your blog from afar and often think...wow, I have such a cool friend. Wish I was that cool! You can do anything. I know that isn't always easy to believe when life seems stuck, but you can do it! Love ya!
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