When I was in the hospital when Zach was born, the nurse asked me if I would have help when I got home. I wish I would have said, "no" to see what they were going to do/say about it. What were they going to do...send the nurse home with me?
Because I really could use it. Obviously I did not know what I was getting myself into by having 2 kids, and now I honestly don't know how I'm going to survive it. I feel so stuck. I feel like I'm never going to sleep again, never going to make it through a day without getting spit up on, never going to make it through a meal without Emily whining about how she wants fruit snacks, never going to leave the house again, never going to have friends again, etc., etc.
All the "experts" in some books I've been reading suggest that you do things like take a nap every day, get out of the house every day and go for a long walk by yourself, go get a massage/pedicure/or whatever regularly, have a weekly date night, hire a maid to help with the cleaning, have people help you with the cooking and grocery shopping, etc. That is a bunch of UNREALISTIC BOLOGNA!!!!!
First of all, neighbors/family/friends are super willing to help out for the first week or two by bringing over dinner or maybe taking the older sibling for a couple of hours. Don't get me wrong, that is a really big help and I'm super grateful for it, but you are still left to do everything else by yourself...with no sleep. Then after the first few weeks, you're really on your own...still with no sleep.
I'd like to know how these "experts" find the time to take a nap and go on a long walk, how they find people willing to clean, cook, grocery shop, do laundry, etc. for you, and how they have money to hire maids and babysitters and get regular massages? Seriously, the going rate for a babysitter in my neighborhood is like $6-$8 an hour!! Like I want to spend $30 just for a babysitter, on top of the price of going to a movie or dinner or whatever. And I have to reserve the family favor card for things I have to do like go to the doctor or to my sister's wedding or stuff like that. Then, I have to do things like go grocery shopping at night when the kids are asleep. I can't even manage to do the things I should do like go to the temple or the gym, let alone the things I want to do.
And speaking of doing things at night when they're asleep...by the time they're in bed and we get the house and dinner cleaned up, all I want to do is lay on the couch for an hour and eat cookies (not a good idea for someone who needs to lose a bunch of baby weight) and then go to bed....only to wake up 2 hours later to a crying baby.
I know that being a mom is important, and I'm grateful for my kids (most of the time), but sometimes I want to be something besides a mom for a few minutes. I feel like "Christy" is long gone and it's just "Mommy" now. And I see no light at the end of the tunnel. And feeling trapped is a crappy way to live. And I really do feel like all these "expert suggestions" are a bunch of unrealistic bologna. :( Maybe they worked with one kid, but not with 2.
I know it won't last forever, I just hope I'll last long enough to see that day. And not be so exhausted (both physically and emotionally) in the process that I can't enjoy them now. There. Rant over.