Yesterday I went to say goodbye to my grandma. She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer back in October, and is down to her last day or two here on earth. It was hard to see her so weak and thin and unable to do anything. But when I walked in she smiled and reached out her arms to me. She said, "Pretty baby" to Emily and she said "I love you". I think she tried to say some other things, but I couldn't understand what she was saying. It looked like she wanted so badly to say stuff, but she just couldn't. Part of the time, she just looked at us and would smile, and part of the time she looked like she was crying. And then she would drift off to sleep for a few minutes. I'm glad she was mostly awake when we went so I could tell her I love her and say goodbye.
Anyway, it was sad. But I'm glad that I had the opportunity to say goodbye and I'm glad she will soon be at peace and with her family and not in pain.
I am proud of my heritage, she raised a good family. A few years ago I helped her make a little book with memories and stories from her life, and then I made her give it to me. I'm so glad she did that, it will be a treasure. In it she wrote...
"I would like to be remembered first of all for my love of God, Jesus Christ, and the Gospel. I have always enjoyed having a calling in the Church, and most of my personal growth has come because of my activity in the Church.
I would like to be remembered for my music. I hope my singing and conducting of choral groups has been entertaining and uplifting for someone.
I have tried to be generous with my few material goods. I have always paid a full tithe and have never lacked for the basics of life.
I have also tried to give time to help others, especially family. I had the privilege of caring for my great-grandmother Moffett, my parents, and my husband Mel when they could not care for themselves. It was not always an easy thing to do, but I learned things I probably would not have learned any other way. Giving service is a refining experience."
We will miss you Grandma!
Update: Grandma passed away on Saturday, August 6.