One thing I am constantly trying to teach my students is a concept called "strengths-based leadership". It's the idea that as you recognize and use your strengths you will be way more successful than if you try to improve your weaknesses.
There are lots of good books on this and I'm reminded of an experience I had while on my mission that I always share with my students to illustrate my point. As a missionary, I had this idea of what a good missionary was supposed to be like. And I was far from it. I thought that in order to be a good missionary, you had to love knocking on doors and talking to people in the park, etc, etc. And I was not good at that. I hated it, in fact. Then one day I realized that I didn't neccessarily have to do those things in order to be a good missionary. I started doing the things that I thought were fun and that I actually was good at. Some people thought I was weird, but I had tons of fun doing singing telegrams and putting on musical firesides and neighborhood parties and playing games in order to teach concepts. And the point of most of these things was to get the members to be more involved in the whole finding process. And it worked. We taught more investigators, had more fun, and eventually ended up having more success. And I was much happier and in the end I felt like I learned how to be a good missionary even though it wasn't in the way I had originally thought.
So my point is that I need to start practicing what I preach.
I've been thinking this week about my frustrations with my job and I think that part of the problem is that 1) I need to recognize that I do have strengths and find a way to incorporate them into my work. And 2) I need to realize that no matter how frustrated I am with this institution or the structure of my office or the lack of support and opportunities I have, that the real purpose of my job is to help my students develop as leaders.
As much as I would love to be able to be a full-time mom after this baby comes, one of my strengths is that I am a responsible person and because of that I just don't feel ok about going into debt while I have a perfectly good opportunity to avoid that situation. So I might as well give it my best shot and try to be good at this job for one more year while Matt focuses on and finishes school. And because I am a responsible person, I will also give it my best shot to do everything I can to be a good mom too. (I don't know what that is yet, but hopefully I will figure out how to balance everything.)
I also feel like this will help Matt and I to understand and appreciate both our own roles as well as the role of the other. For example, being in this situation, I will better understand what it's like to be the provider and Matt will better understand what it's like to take care of a home and baby.
I have realized this week that some of the things that are frustrating me are because of my strengths. For example, I like to make things happen. I don't just talk about things, but I do them. I think that's why it's been so frustrating for me because it seems like it takes FOREVER to get anything done around here. With all the approvals and collaboration, etc. I oftentimes can't just make something happen myself. Or when I get excited about an idea, I want to do something about it. But most of the time, I'm told I have to wait. I'm also good at generating ideas and plans and being in the development mode. Once I get something up and running, I get bored with maintaining it.
In previous jobs I've had, I haven't had to rely so much on other people to get things done. I've been able to just do things and make decisions and run with it. I think that's part of what's frustrating me too.
So anyway, I just need to focus on the things I can do and not worry so much about people who I see as barriers. And try to get excited about things even if there is a lot of red tape to jump through and not get bored when things take a long time. I need to see if any of my strengths can be better incorporated into this job and just try to make it a good experience for the students I work with.
So I'm going to start a list of strengths that hopefully I can lean on.
I am...
-responsible
-good at making things happen, not just talking about them
-determined, I don't usually give up on things
-I like to try new things, I don't like doing the same thing over and over
-organized
-constantly wanting to improve
-good at developing things
-I truly like to help people
-I have good ideas
Please feel free to add to this list...sometimes I have a hard time recognizing my own strengths. :) But I am determined to make this work, because for some reason we are in this situation and there are obviously things I need to learn from it.
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