Thursday, April 17, 2014

The demise of my social life

Every time I try to get together with other moms to go to the park or have a playdate or something, it is a total disaster. Why do my children not like to go anywhere or do anything or be around other kids???? It's driving me nuts! What am I doing wrong?

I pictured motherhood as something totally different than what it is turning out to be. I pictured chatting with other moms at the park while we watched our kids play. I pictured outings with other moms and kids and everyone enjoying themselves. I pictured having people over and the kids playing together while the moms got in some adult conversation.

Instead I get kids climbing on me and whining at me instead of playing at the park. I get kids hitting me and yelling at me and telling me how mean I am when I tell them that other kids are coming over. I get doors slammed in my face when I try to get them dressed to leave the house. I get complaining and throwing things when I tell them we are going to go somewhere. I have to drag them out of stores kicking and screaming because Emily is whacking Zach because she wants to sit in the baby seat in the cart instead of Zach.

Seriously, she is out of control. She is constantly yelling and hitting and being a complete terror. And I don't know how to handle her.

I'm trying to make friends, but she is making it impossible. For example, the other day, I saw some neighbors out walking. I decided to invite myself to join them and I loaded up the stroller. Emily screamed and screamed and said she did not want to go on a walk with anyone else. So the neighbors went on their way. Without me and my fit-throwing child.

Or how about when I saw some neighbors at the park and went over to try and chat with them, and Emily starts whining about how she can't play at the park when there are other kids there and throwing herself on the ground in major fit-mode. Or when we were going somewhere and Emily pooped her pants on purpose so we wouldn't go.

I am tired of this. I miss being fun. I want to do fun things with my kids and I want to have friends. Yet this is why my children prohibit me from having a social life. I love my kids, but sometimes I don't think I was cut out for this whole parenting thing. I think I got jipped on the good parent genes.

Is it wrong of me to want something besides playing candyland all day long? Is it unreasonable for me to expect my child to get dressed and leave the house? Is it bad that I wish she would enjoy going to the park or storytime or whatever instead of hitting me and yelling how mean I am for making her get dressed?


Hayley said...

Geez Christy! I don't know what to do about pooping pants on purpose. Have you talked to the pediatrician for advice? that might be a good place to start. To me it sounds like she needs to be with someone other than you... like at playgroup or day care at the gym or just having a babysitter. it might be good for both of you - you get some time away from the kids, she learns to handle other people better. but i don't know much about anything. kids are just hard. i'm sorry you're going through that. frustrating!

Vermont 6 said...

McKay used to do some of the things you have mentioned and he loves to play with other kids now, it might just take her a while, but I am sure that soon she'll come around. Maybe talk to Rachel about things she might have tried to get around McKay when he was going through that stage. Remember, it is just a phase, just like so many things - she won't be doing that when she's 20 - hehehe.