Summer's underway

I'm so excited it's finally summertime! We took Emmy to visit the cemetery this weekend for Memorial Day. She was pretty much in heaven with all the flowers, pinwheels, flags, and balloons. She would run from grave to grave pointing at the flowers saying, "This one so pretty!" and "Here's a pink one!" and "Go see that orange one over there!" or whatever.

We went to visit my Grandma Brady's grave and Matt's Grandma and Grandpa Lively's graves. We tried to tell Emmy about them, but she got confused and said, "Go to Grandma's house now?"

We also went last week to visit my Great-Granny Alta, who just turned 98. Up until a few weeks ago, she has lived by herself and would constantly be doing things like crocheting dish towels and blankets and feeding the cats. 

But she got sick a few weeks ago, and isn't doing so well. Even though she couldn't get out of bed when we went to visit, she was still cracking jokes. We asked her if she was tired, and she said, "How can you be tired when you just lay in bed all day?" Haha! Anyway, it was really sad to see her in her hospital bed, but I just hope she can be comfortable and happy. She has spent her whole life serving others, and she deserves to be happy. But we will miss her a lot when her times comes.

This week we went to the zoo and saw this...

It was beautiful. Emmy especially loved the elephants, giraffes, and tigers this time. She kept asking if we could go see the elephants again. It was pretty cute.

She has been saying pretty cute things lately. Like how on Sunday we asked her what she did in nursery and she said, "Play blue ball, and puzzles, and eat snacks, and eat apples, and that's all!"  Or how when we told her we were going to the store, she said, "Look at couches?" (That is when you really just need to pick a darn couch!) Or how every time we leave the house she says, "Bye new house! And cookies! Cookies all gone?"  Or when I asked her where the baby was, she said, "Hiding in Mommy's tummy." Ha!

Vacation!

In one month from today, I will be doing this....

We are going on a REAL VACATION!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so excited I can hardly stand it. We are going on an Alaskan cruise, and I can't wait. I have always wanted to go to Alaska. And my blessed mother is watching Emily for an entire week so we can have this getaway. THANK YOU MOM!!!! I am so excited to see beautiful country and not have to worry about cooking or cleaning or anything and just relax and enjoy and rejuvenate!

Before Emily was born, I used to go on a few vacations a year. I LOVE traveling and I miss it so much. It has always been one of my favorite things to do. Since a few months before Emily was born, we haven't gone anywhere without her for more than a couple of hours (that's over 2 years! and I was having major travel withdrawals.)

It's kind of funny because as we were planning this trip, we wanted to go for our anniversary in July (and also wait until my class I am teaching was over) but apparently cruise lines won't let you on the boat if you are one minute over 24 weeks pregnant. So we tried a bunch of other options that didn't involve a cruise, but nothing was working out. So we finally decided that we'll just have to bump it up a few weeks so I can go just before I reach 24 weeks. I'll have to teach my class from the boat, but that won't be too big of a deal. (And it was much cheaper to go in June than in July anyway.)

Alaska....here we come! Anyone want to come with us?

Mother's Day

I'll be honest. I was not looking forward to Mother's Day. In fact, I was dreading it and pretty much just wanted to skip it. I was feeling so guilty about being such a lousy mother that I didn't want a holiday to be reminded of my lack of talent in mothering. I didn't want to hear the talks in church where people talked about their perfect mothers and how great they were while I was chasing my screaming child around the building. (Seriously, the week before last was pure torture. We had to take her out at least 6 times during sacrament meeting screaming and trying to wriggle away.) I was feeling guilty that I often dread going to church because I don't want to deal with that. I was feeling guilty that I was jealous of some of my friends who were doing things that I can't really do very easily anymore. I was feeling bad about not looking so pretty anymore with the extra weight and tired eyes and graham cracker goo clothes. All which comes with being a mother.

I always thought I would be a good mother. People always told me I would be a good mother. I always wanted to be a mother. I waited a long time to be a mother. And then when it finally happened, I was in for a giant surprise. I thought I had prepared. I thought it would just come naturally. Oh boy, was I ever wrong. Being a mother is THE hardest thing I have ever done. And I have done a lot of hard things.

I wasn't prepared for the loneliness and monotony that being a mother sometimes entails. I wasn't prepared for the cranky times outweighing the pleasant times. I wasn't prepared to spend most of my days making food that doesn't get eaten and then cleaning it up off the floor and going up and down the stairs five hundred times a day. I wasn't prepared to have absolutely NO CLUE what to do with her sometimes. And I feel guilty because this whiny, but still precious, little girl deserves better than that.

And that is why I wanted to skip Mother's Day. Of course, I wanted to feel special and honored and appreciated. But I wanted to feel deserving of it. And I did not want to feel guilty. Poor Matt didn't know what to do with me.

And then a miracle happened. First of all, in sacrament meeting, the talks were not about mothers. Thank you, bishop! They were about faith and courage. (Which can definitely be applied to motherhood, but also to other things.) Plus, Emily was actually GOOD in sacrament meeting. And then, in Relief Society, the RS president got up and the first words out of her mouth were, "I have a love-hate relationship with Mother's Day." She went on to say how guilty she felt about not being the perfect mother and how she just gritted her teeth through the talks about all the great mothers. What? I wasn't the only one who felt that way? Anyway, her lesson was about how no one is the perfect mother and our children won't be ruined by our lack of mothering skills or whatever. That, in fact, they can learn from us even when we get frustrated, make mistakes, etc. That it's ok that we  sometimes create (not on purpose) the opposition in their lives, which is essential to their learning. And it totally made me feel better.

I know that mothering is not one of my talents, but I learned yesterday that it's ok. Everyone will turn out ok. And I ended up having a wonderful Mother's Day. I'm glad I didn't skip it. Emily was really good for most of the day. She voluntarily gave me lots of kisses without even being told and was doing really cute things all day. I'm so thankful to have this precious little girl in my life, even if I suck at being a mom.

And Matt tried very hard to help me feel loved and appreciated by getting me some flowers and making me a Costa Rican breakfast and getting some paint for our kitchen, which I've been wanting to repaint.

Anyway, thank you to Matt and Emily and the Relief Society president for helping me to better appreciate motherhood and helping me to have a great Mother's Day.

Baby Olivia

Welcome Baby Olivia! My brand-new (and only niece). Congrats to my sister Laurie and her husband John.

Emmy wasn't quite sure what to think of her new cousin. She only wanted to hold her after I started holding her and then she kept saying, "Emmy's turn." I had to be tricky about where to put my arm when helping Em hold Olivia because Emmy wanted to do it herself and didn't want my arm in the way. She was very concerned about Olivia's hat and blanket. She thought the hat needed to be off and kept trying to put the blanket back on when Olivia's feet would come out. Ha! Well she's got til October to get used to having a baby around so having Olivia here will be good practice for Emmy.

Color Me Rad

Last weekend my friend Caron and I ran the Color Me Rad 5K. It was so fun! You start out with a plain, white T-shirt and then at every kilometer you run through a "color station" and they spray you with color. Here we are at the start.

Here we are after one of the first color stations.

Here's Caron trying to see out of her glasses after they got sprayed!

And here we are after the 5 color stations and the grand color party at the end.

It really was fun. I only had one small blue streak on my face that wouldn't come off for 2 days!

Zoo

 Emmy and I went to the zoo last week. It was more fun now that she knows what all the animals are. She would want to get out of the stroller for like 30 seconds to see better and then she wanted right back in.