Already???

My 10 weeks of maternity leave has come and gone and I'm headed back to work tomorrow. I can't believe how fast it went! I have very mixed feelings about tomorrow. I'm excited to have people to talk to during the day, but I'm nervous about leaving Emily. I just want her to be healthy and happy and loved. And I want to be there for her. And I don't want to miss out on anything she does.

I am happy to have such wonderful people to take care of her while I'm gone. Matt will be with her some of the mornings, my sister will be watching her 3 afternoons a week, and my neighbor will take the other 2 days. It's actually pretty cool how it all worked out and fell into place so easily. But I still want to be there for her.

I'll admit that I'm not 100% sure that me going back to work is the right thing. But quitting my job right now doesn't feel right. But one thing I have learned is that Heavenly Father will either help us to make this work or He will provide us with another option that feels right. I've also learned that sometimes He doesn't always tell you what's right, but He just tells you what is wrong. And you just do the best you can with what you know and take those steps into the darkness until He confirms it or directs us another way.

On the other hand, I'm kind of happy to have something to do during the day. I really need to get back into a routine before I go crazy! Emily sleeps most of the day and I have been getting kinda bored and SO lonely staying home by myself all day. I feel so trapped inside since I can't really leave while she is napping. I am grateful that I have a good job that I enjoy to help provide for our family while Matt finishes up school in these next few months. And I'm glad that I have the opportunity to be an influence for good in the lives of my students.

I love this article about working moms:
LDS.org - Ensign Article - Working Double-Time: The Working Mother’s Dilemma.
It has brought me a lot of comfort in making this hard decision. So, I'm sure tomorrow will be a huge adjustment for everyone, and I'm sure there will be lots of sacrifices, but I hope and pray that the Lord will continue to guide us and direct us as to what is best for our little family.