California ruins lives

If you're thinking of moving to California, just don't. You life will be ruined. Here is what you can expect....

When you are looking to buy a house, there will not be any homes that you love. They'll all need work and they'll all be expensive. Also, don't expect sellers to do dishes or vacuum before a showing. They just won't clean the house before you look at it. And you'll have to settle for something you don't love and that is a fixer-upper.

When you buy said fixer-upper and move in, there will be a bunch of junk in your house that the sellers have left behind. It will also be filthy. You will have to replace everything inside because it's gross or it has broken and you will have to completely redo the yard because it's a giant weedhole hill and it's just a complete disaster. This will cost you hours of time and a buttload of money.

The movers will damage half your stuff in transport. They will not pay the full amount to replace the damaged items. So you're stuck with broken stuff.

Everyone will treat you like you're an annoyance to them. Especially service providers who are supposed to be trying to earn your business. This includes home repair people, contractors, landscapers, doctors, store clerks, etc. It will also take an extremely long time to get anything done or get an appointment anywhere. You are not a priority to anyone.

You will be lonely. No one in your neighborhood will ever be home. Your kids will not have any friends to play with. Even if they have friends at school, no one will be able to play ever because they all go to daycare. You will go insane from having to be a 24/7 playmate (among all your other roles in life) and having to play Shopkins or Barbies or whatever. You just cannot replace other kids in your child's life. You will speak to an adult who is not your husband maybe once a month. And if you do finally make a friend after a year, they will move away. I repeat, lonely. For you and your kids.

Your family will get sick. You will get skin cancer from the sun. Your husband will break his hand, your daughter will wind up in a horrible hospital for a week with some crazy illness and eventually have to get a surgery, and your son will get diagnosed with autism by a crazy neurologist. This will all cost you more money and take away more of your sanity.

Once you get your house fixed up, things will begin breaking again and you start over. You will also get robbed and your back door will be smashed in and all your jewelry and your peace of mind will be gone forever. You will spend more money to get a security system, alarm and cameras.

Most of your friends and family you have moved away from will forget about you. When you come to visit, most will be too busy to spend time with you. People will say they will come visit you, but few people actually will. Your parents and your best friend will be the only ones who really will. If anyone else comes to California, it will be mostly to visit the beach or Disneyland or something. Most won't even tell you they're nearby.

You will be all alone and expected to do everything by yourself. You will have no help. You will rarely go out because getting a babysitter is nearly impossible. You will never get a break. If you do mention this to anyone, they will tell you to just get a maid and a nanny like the rest of Californians. Yeah right, like that is a realistic possibility.

You will realize that going anywhere takes at least an hour. And that's if there's no traffic, which there almost always will be. You will become an angry driver because of all the crap you have to deal with on the roads.

You will gain 20 pounds from all this stress and become a mean, angry, ugly, insane, untrusting person who is stuck in California. The nice, pleasant, creative, active, involved, helpful, sane, strong person you once knew will be gone. So do yourself a favor and don't ever move to California. And pray for us to be able to get out soon.