Unrealistic bologna

When I was in the hospital when Zach was born, the nurse asked me if I would have help when I got home. I wish I would have said, "no" to see what they were going to do/say about it. What were they going to do...send the nurse home with me?

Because I really could use it. Obviously I did not know what I was getting myself into by having 2 kids, and now I honestly don't know how I'm going to survive it. I feel so stuck. I feel like I'm never going to sleep again, never going to make it through a day without getting spit up on, never going to make it through a meal without Emily whining about how she wants fruit snacks, never going to leave the house again, never going to have friends again, etc., etc.

All the "experts" in some books I've been reading suggest that you do things like take a nap every day, get out of the house every day and go for a long walk by yourself, go get a massage/pedicure/or whatever regularly, have a weekly date night, hire a maid to help with the cleaning, have people help you with the cooking and grocery shopping, etc. That is a bunch of UNREALISTIC BOLOGNA!!!!!

First of all, neighbors/family/friends are super willing to help out for the first week or two by bringing over dinner or maybe taking the older sibling for a couple of hours. Don't get me wrong, that is a really big help and I'm super grateful for it, but you are still left to do everything else by yourself...with no sleep. Then after the first few weeks, you're really on your own...still with no sleep.

I'd like to know how these "experts" find the time to take a nap and go on a long walk, how they find people willing to clean, cook, grocery shop, do laundry, etc. for you, and how they have money to hire maids and babysitters and get regular massages? Seriously, the going rate for a babysitter in my neighborhood is like $6-$8 an hour!! Like I want to spend $30 just for a babysitter, on top of the price of going to a movie or dinner or whatever. And I have to reserve the family favor card for things I have to do like go to the doctor or to my sister's wedding or stuff like that. Then, I have to do things like go grocery shopping at night when the kids are asleep. I can't even manage to do the things I should do like go to the temple or the gym, let alone the things I want to do.

And speaking of doing things at night when they're asleep...by the time they're in bed and we get the house and dinner cleaned up, all I want to do is lay on the couch for an hour and eat cookies (not a good idea for someone who needs to lose a bunch of baby weight) and then go to bed....only to wake up 2 hours later to a crying baby.

I know that being a mom is important, and I'm grateful for my kids (most of the time), but sometimes I want to be something besides a mom for a few minutes. I feel like "Christy" is long gone and it's just "Mommy" now. And I see no light at the end of the tunnel. And feeling trapped is a crappy way to live. And I really do feel like all these "expert suggestions" are a bunch of unrealistic bologna. :( Maybe they worked with one kid, but not with 2.

I know it won't last forever, I just hope I'll last long enough to see that day. And not be so exhausted (both physically and emotionally) in the process that I can't enjoy them now. There. Rant over.

Family pictures

Daddy's little girl

Emmy sure does love her daddy. She has him wrapped around her little finger. She REALLY wanted him to eat with her at her princess table. He just can't resist those big blue eyes.

And this is coming from the man who said he never wanted to have tea parties and play dollhouse, etc. Whenever I bring this up to him, he just says, "But she's my little girl!" And he plays dollhouse and puts clippies in her hair and has tea parties like a pro! Even with all the girly stuff, he is trying so hard to get Emmy to like football, and I think he's succeeding. The other day Emmy grabbed the remote, pointed it to the TV, and said, "I'm trying to find a football game!" Ha! He is such a good daddy, and Emmy (and Zach) sure are lucky to have him.

I'm grateful that he is such a big help. Every night after the kids go to bed, Matt usually helps clean up dinner and the disastrous mess that Emmy has made during the day. He also often helps me fold the laundry or vacuum or do whatever task I haven't been able to get done during the day. I sure do love him!

3 Months

Mr. Zach turned 3 months last week! He is finally starting to be happier and less fussy. Hallelujah!
Maybe I won't go crazy after all! (Knock on wood.)

At 3 months, Zach...

-has a big, goofy smile
-laughs after he spits up or when you stand him up by his arms
-is a tank (seriously, he is SO heavy and such a chunk!)
-can break out of his swaddle
-spits up a ton
-loves to look at himself in the mirror
-has discovered his hands and likes to examine them
-doesn't like baths
-has big smiles in the morning when he wakes up
-says, "ooooooh" and "gooooo"
-has crazy hair
-likes to reach and bat at his hanging toys

We started sleep training with Zach about 3 weeks ago. It's not going as well as it did with Emily. :( I miss my sleep! But we are making progress, and he is a lot happier than he was a few weeks ago, thank goodness. He still usually gets up twice in the night (as in 7 p.m. to 7 a.m....that's what I consider "night"), but will eat and go right back to sleep. Sometimes we're lucky and he'll only get up once. At least he goes to bed around 6-7 p.m. and I have my evenings back! This week I am going to cut the nighttime feedings to one though, and then to none! (The next step of my sleep training plan.) He is also doing better at taking his naps during the day.

He's been reaching for this thing for a few weeks, and he finally grabbed it! Now he won't let go!

Anyway, I'm so glad he is happier and it melts my heart when he laughs. I love that!

Zach's Nursery

Yes, Zach is 3 months old and I am just getting around to finishing decorating and taking pictures of his nursery. (Not to mention we had to move the computer desk out of there!) I had big plans to paint it, but it is just not happening anytime soon. Maybe next summer.

I decided to go with a surfer/Hawaiian theme. I got him this cute surfer clock and made his name out of surfer/Hawaiian stuff. (This is the wall I was going to paint. Blue with ocean waves on it.)

I got some cute surfboard fabric and made his changing table cover (which you can't really see in the picture) and my friend Caron helped me make these curtains. I cut a grass skirt short for a valance so it looks like a little surfer hut. (Caron also made the blanket hanging over the rocking chair.)

I hung up some tapa cloth and kukui nuts that I brought back from Hawaii. And the picture of Jesus was my Grandma's. Then I got these cute surfboard decals and made a frame out of bamboo sticks lashed together with twine.

I think it turned out pretty cute, although it looks much better in person. These pictures didn't turn out very well. And once I get around to painting his room, it will be even cuter! Surf's Up! I hope Zach likes his surfer room!

My Emmy Girl

My little Emmy is getting to be such a big girl. She is so independent and wants to do everything herself. She loves to read books. The other day I found her reading books to her bunny. (Bunny has to do everything we do...eat, read books, even play ring around the rosies...try holding hands with a bunny!)

She loves to mother her babies, and do everything I do to Zach to her babies. Here she is burping the baby.

And feeding her. The only annoying thing is that she is constantly using Zach's stuff (blankets, bottles, burp cloths, clothes, swing, crib, etc.) for her babies. And then gets mad when I try to use it for Zach.

Once in awhile she will snuggle with me.

But not very often and then she's right back to getting into things. She gets into things faster than I can keep track of her. Here she is trying on ALL the shoes in my closet. She also wants to get dressed herself and do her hair herself. So she often looks like a little ragamuffin with mismatched clothes and crazy hair.

I cannot clean up one mess she makes fast enough before she makes another! So usually I don't worry about it til she's in bed for the night. But she makes me laugh every day, and I love that silly little Emmy girl!

The reason behind Zach's fussiness

Emily picked out this book at the library about mixing colors and how all the colors are made. This page made me laugh. Now we know why Zach is such a fussy baby!

It says, "Your father is blue and your mother is yellow. That's why you turned out so mellow!"

And we all know Matt is definitely NOT blue! Ha!